


From Zero

by real_phy



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Break Up, False Hopes, Fluff, Guanlin doesnt deserve this, Guanlin hang in there, It hurts as hell, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real_phy/pseuds/real_phy
Summary: The faint pitter-patter of the rain was heard outside his window. His phone tightly clutched onto his palm as he stares at the wall in front of him. Staring at the particular photo of his life, his happiness, his everything. His heart accelerating as he hears the ticking of the clock, the second hand moving rapidly more than it normally would.Guanlin: Hyung, do you feel the same way?Sent 10:14 PM





	From Zero

**Author's Note:**

> Okay prepare y'all tissues because this was literally based on a true story.

The faint pitter-patter of the rain was heard outside his window. His phone tightly clutched onto his palm as he stares at the wall in front of him. Staring at the particular photo of his life, his happiness, his everything. His heart accelerating as he hears the ticking of the clock, the second hand moving rapidly more than it normally would.

Guanlin: Hyung, do you feel the same way?

Sent 10:14 PM

 

He doesn’t even know why he’s currently doing this. Bloodshot eyes averted from the wall to his phone as he patiently waits for a reply. His knees slowly curling in on himself as he lets his phone lay on top of the sheets. His arms circling his knees as he rests his chin on top of them. Eyes never leaving his phone and for once he wished that phones had this ‘unsend’ button.

You see, Guanlin didn’t even know how he was tangled up in this mess in the very first place. Especially over the fact that he was just a kid. A kid who knew nothing about love, affection, passion, commitment and relationships. He was literally just a child. Though looking back through this year. A lot happened, he could admit.

It was August of 2017 when Guanlin went into University. Being a college student was honestly exhausting. It’s not just the lessons that you need to take, it’s also the language barrier that made him feel extremely lost in a country that wasn’t his hometown. Just what the saying says, if you wanted to be fluent in Korean, you needed to get a girlfriend. For Guanlin’s case, he didn’t got a girlfriend but he got himself a fluffy, cute, and bashful boy who was older than him. He was Park Jihoon. They met the following week when Guanlin was rushing to his class and accidentally crashed upon the smaller boy and when Guanlin first saw him Guanlin was close to sobbing because this guy was so adorable, so small, so cute, but it turns out he was actually 2 years older than him.

It didn’t take them long that usual conversations became deep ones, and within a very short amount of time. Guanlin was forced up into his first relationship. He confessed to Jihoon within a few days, and he was so damn sure the gods loved him because Park Jihoon said yes.

The bliss ended sooner though than Guanlin had wanted it to last. 4 days in, they were all good, all cute and all sweet but Park Jihoon was slowly drifting away. He thought it was a normal thing for couples but when Park Jihoon dropped the big word on him, he started to question everything. How short the time they needed to get together, well ironically, they even lasted shorter. Park Jihoon broke up with him, and Guanlin wasn’t dumb to not know the reason. _“Maybe it’s just puppy love?”_ He convinces himself.

It’s not also a few days after that he heard the news of Jihoon getting together with someone. He heard it was a year older from him. Though, Guanlin stopped caring and told himself to moved on. It wasn’t much of a major loss anyways. It was hard, indeed. Moving on over someone was indeed hard but with Guanlin trying his hardest not to take the same path as Jihoon, it actually magically worked!

Guanlin was 15 when he first entered a real relationship. Though, Guanlin first found out the real feeling of love when he was 16. Despite the fact that Guanlin was slowly learning the language of the current country he was in, he was given a tutor to help him lift his grades up. He was Kang Daniel.

Firstly, they met in the most peculiar way. Guanlin was told to wait up in his tutor’s office and who was he to waste time by doing nothing. He opted to do all his homework then and there but of course a cute little rascal decided to ate his homework and Guanlin was devastated of course. It turned out to be his tutor’s cat and things went on from there.

Their usual study sessions became hangouts. Slowly, Guanlin and Daniel were getting closer and closer each passing day. Laughters were shared instead of lessons and Guanlin had more reasons to visit his favorite hyung’s home each day that passed by. They were the closest of friends until one gesture decided to ruin and messed up Guanlin’s emotions.

Prior to the night they decided to run a Disney marathon, with Guanlin bawling his eyes out because of Frozen, knowing how sweet Elsa actually was to Anna and how sibling love was so powerful that Daniel literally had to cuddle the sadness out of the younger to stop Guanlin from bawling his eyes out, they decided to retire from the movie and sleep together, in the same bed because what’s so wrong about two guys sleeping on the same bed right?

Waking up was normal, with Guanlin being half-dragged out of bed by Daniel because he’s been saying “ _Five more minutes, mom.”_ For the fifth time now and Daniel was genuinely worried that this kid would get himself a stomach disease if he’d continue skipping meal times. What wasn’t normal at all that happened was like this; Daniel crawling and hovering on top of Guanlin because the kid insisted on being genuinely manlier than his hyung. Guanlin was confused at first but that confusion was cleared away when he felt a pair of rough lips against his soft ones. His wrists pinned down on either side of him and _oh._ His cheeks were heating up because this is what _a kiss_ feels like. He felt his breath hitching as Daniel moved closer and closer to him before he decided to stop messing up with the younger, leaving butterfly kisses on the younger’s neck before pulling away.

 _“What the fuck was that?”_ Guanlin half screamed, his face trying to show horror in it but miserably fails for his cheeks were evident that it was tinted with a heavy color of red.

 _“That’s how you kiss. Want me to teach you more?”_ Daniel wiggled his eyebrows, causing the poor kid to even flush harder than how he was already being and pushed the elder away with a roll of his eyes.

He thought it would end then and there. The kiss was meant to be nothing. The kiss meant nothing. The kiss wasn’t anything special, heck it didn’t have any emotions on it. Though, Guanlin probably took it on the wrong side because he didn’t know it would be the only thing to keep himself from going further and further.

He didn’t know anything about love to start off with that he even asked most of his older friends what love was. The answers he received were; it’s the feeling that your palms would get really sweaty when the person you like would stare at you for way too long, it’s the feeling that your heartbeat would never calm down whenever you’re with that person, it’s the feeling that sparks would fly everywhere in your system.

Guanlin took it by heart and at first, he decided to stop pressing it on further but everytime he was with Daniel he always checked out each one of those. The fact that all of those were evident whenever he was with the elder was pretty concerning.

Especially that one night where Guanlin was crouched down on Daniel’s laptop, playing random Mandarin songs about love subconsciously that he didn’t know Daniel also speaks the language as well. The night where Daniel told him he was his precious gem that he’d protect from everything bad in this world. Guanlin’s palm went sweaty, his heartbeat went rapid, his insides were bursting and he was very very worried for his condition.

In the very end, Guanlin knew by now that Daniel feels the same way as what he feels. He could tell because the endless word ‘cute’ was always being thrown towards him and would leave him in a flabbergasted state. The endless texts he’d receive from the elder from day and night. The endless hanging out they had to do. The random cuddles they share at night which would always end with a sweet kiss on the tiers.

Everything was alright and Guanlin admitted within three months of knowing the elder that he was inlove. He was genuinely in love and he thinks this time wouldn’t be bad especially that the elder feels the same.

Everything was alright again until Daniel’s birthday came on. Guanlin himself chucked 4 cans of black coffee despite the fact that he absolutely despises black coffee because it makes him tremble endlessly and make him paranoid but he had to because he was doing something big for Daniel. It was a success to say the least. Daniel said he was so cute, and Guanlin was so damn ready to receive a sweet sweet kiss that he knew would be his reward.

 

… but he didn’t.

 

The day after that Guanlin started questioning himself again. What went wrong? He noticed how Daniel’s text went lesser and lesser every passing day. The usual hangouts became very rare that Guanlin even had to wake up at 2 AM just to crash down Daniel’s house and hangout just to spend time with him. _What went wrong._ Every little thing affections he would throw at Daniel would either be dismissed or ignored and Guanlin couldn’t help but feel another emotion had just coursed into his system. He felt pain. He felt agony in his chest. He expressed his love so openly to the other weren’t they already lovers? Hell, everyone knows what’s going on between them.

The last straw to everything was seeing Daniel with someone else, a specific ‘she’ that Guanlin recognized. Daniel told him about his ex before. She was pretty, yeah. Guanlin doesn’t like her of course, but it was probably just because he was petty before, but seeing them back together made Guanlin even more confused. Wasn’t Daniel supposed to be spending time with him? He was his lover for God’s sake.

Which by now was why Guanlin was perched up on his bed, heart seemingly too fragile that a small tap on him would break him apart. The notification popped up on his phone and he was never too fast to open it up.

Daniel: Guanlin, what are you talking about? We’re friends, of course I feel the same.

Received 10: 23 PM

 _Friends?_ Guanlin blinked onto his phone, his palms turning cold at the new found knowledge.

Guanlin: Hyung, _friends?_ What are you talking about? I thought we’re together? I thought we love each other? Were friends supposed to kiss each other goodnight? Were friends supposed to stay up until ass o’ clock to spend time together? Were friends suppose to look at you as if you were their everything?

Guanlin was about to press the send button but Daniel’s reply beat him up to it

Daniel: To answer your question, I know you liked me but no. I don’t feel the same way. I already told you everything between us were platonic.

Received 10:45 PM

 _And it hits him._ All the unanswered “ _I love yous ”_ he throws to the elder. All the written handletters remain unrequited that only Guanlin does it. All the small little cute things that screamed love was all in Guanlin’s head that his jaw literally dropped upon this new found knowledge.

Guanlin was also 16 when he received his first _heartbreak._

Guanlin: Hyung, _friends?_ What are you talking about? I thought we’re together? I thought we love each other? Were friends supposed t

With every smash of his thumb on the backspace, Guanlin deleted the previous message, not risking to send it as he types another one on the chat box.

Guanlin: Oh right. I knew you wouldn’t. Sorry, I’m off to sleep now. I’ll talk back to you tomorrow. Good night hyung.

Sent 11: 09 PM

Guanlin let his head hit the headboard of his bed, staring up at the the ceiling as he lets his tears fall out of his eyelids. His hand still tightly clutched onto his phone before he opted to type another message on the chatbox.

Guanlin: Just so you know that despite the fact that you don’t like me back, please don’t push me away. Let me love you even if it’s unrequited. Let me love you because my happiness depends on it, just please.

Or the fate probably definitely just hates him because the message tone went off yet again.

Daniel: _Guanlin, I know you’re not okay right now, but you have to get over me. I wouldn’t want to hear you complain about how love that are unrequited can destroy someone. I’ll help you with it, don’t worry. Now sleep._

Received 11:11 PM

His fingers trembled, his breath coming out in short pants as he hovered over the button that risked his everything away.

Guanlin: Just so you know that despite the fact that you don’t like me back, please don’t push me away. Let me love you even if it’s unrequited. Let me love you because my happiness depends on it, just please.

Would you like to delete this message?

 **Yes** | No

Guess love really makes you happy momentarily until you had to payback for all the happiness you owed it from. He closes his phone, laid on the bed and closed his eyes, wanting to wake up with the feeling of not loving Daniel because _oh how much it actually hurts._

_“Guess we’re back again from zero.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the Guanlin was me and I love suffering, adios.


End file.
